I’ve Been Rejected

I’ve been rejected, and I don’t like it one bit.

As I mentioned before, I finished the manuscript for a new book a while ago, The Lies We Believe: Dealing with Guilt, Shame, Fear, and Regret. I thought that publishers would stand in line with publishing offers. They didn’t. They rejected it. Joe Battaglia, my friend and Key Life’s agent, is still trying to find a publisher, but I haven’t heard from him lately.

I’ll spare you (and me) the details, but this is a new experience.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t deal well with rejection. I think of myself as a reasonably normal and mentally healthy guy until something comes along that doesn’t fit my mask. It could be my inability to deal with a besetting sin, a sermon that bombed (where people all over the congregation were checking their watches), a negative comment from someone I had worked hard to impress, health issues, getting old, etc. Rejection isn’t at the top of that list, but it is close.

There are the questions: Have I lost it? Is God through with me? Did my sin finally do me in? Was the book that bad? Am I just getting what I deserve? And it’s not only the questions, it’s the anger. How could they? Don’t they know who I am? I’ll pray they get the hives. They missed out on one of the great books of the year . . . they’ll regret this!

Then, because God likes me (even when it doesn’t feel like it), I had an attack of sanity or maybe a Holy Spirit intervention. I also have to say something about Lent and Easter. While I’m writing this in February, you’ll read it close to Easter. It hit me that those subjects are connected. I had forgotten.

For instance, my rejection is minor compared with the rejection Jesus experienced. Nobody has driven nails into my hands and feet and hung me up on a cross. So, I have a long way to go yet. The writer of Hebrews (4:15-16) says that we have an incredible high priest who has been there and done that. When I told a few friends about my difficulty in getting the book published and the rejection I felt, they were kind, but when I told Jesus, he said, “I know. I’m your priest. I’ve been there, and you can trust me with this.”

I thought, “Great, Jesus will get my book published.” Then I realized that that might not happen. When I was a pastor, we went through a major building program. (Never take advice from any pastor who has been through multiple building programs. Once is inexperience, but twice is crazy!) During that time, a famous Christian television celebrity gave out gold pins with the words “God Will!” Cathy said that we ought to push pins, too, with “Maybe God Will. Maybe He Won’t.”  

Will I be pleased and happy if my book never gets published? Are you crazy? But I must say, after much experience, God’s plans for me were always better than mine. I remember when I was asked to become the pastor of a very large church—twice. In my arrogance, I decided that I would accept when they asked me the third time. When they never asked a third time, I was devastated and wondered how different my life would have been if they had asked that third time. Frankly, I would have been miserable and probably would have been fired the first year. God’s ways are circuitous. Whatever we think God is doing in our lives, he probably isn’t. What he does is always better than what I would do, and, as an old guy, I bring my witness to the table.

Jesus was also rejected when he didn’t deserve it. But when I’m rejected, I deserve it. In fact, once my head clears, I’m glad the deserved rejection wasn’t worse. And, just so you know, you’re not any different. There is an old liturgical prayer (I forget the source), “My sins are too heavy to carry, too deep to undo, and too real to hide.” Bingo. Mother Teresa said, “Bless those who curse you. Think what they would say if they knew the truth.”

When Paul wrote in 1 Timothy 1:15 that “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost,” and confessed in Romans 7, those weren’t just words. It’s not in Scripture, but Paul is an old friend of mine, and I know. When Paul came to Rome to die, he looked back over his life, the legacy of churches all over the Roman Empire, and his letters read in all those churches (fast becoming Scriptural truth), and said, “I don’t believe this! I must be dreaming.”

That’s been my secret attitude whenever I’ve published a book. Judging by the number of my teachers who came to hear me preach when I was young, they wouldn’t believe it, either. You could see it in their eyes, “No, not him, not Brown.” If we’re not surprised when God has used us, we haven’t understood. It’s kind of the dog playing checkers thing—when you see a dog playing checkers, you don’t criticize his game; you’re just surprised he’s playing at all.

But it is Easter. The events around Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection are the causative factors in the most counterintuitive and amazing demonstration of acceptance the world has ever seen. Believe it or not, a holy, righteous, and sovereign God found us acceptable because of Jesus.

D.L. Moody was one of the most effective evangelists the Church has ever known. Moody had no formal education and yet was an educator. He was not a theological giant but an incredible and insightful preacher. He was not attractive, but attracted millions to Christ. A reporter who heard Moody preach said that there was no way to explain him given that Moody was grossly overweight, had a speech impediment, and butchered the English language. Moody’s response was, “He’s right.”   

One of Moody’s closest friends was G. Campbell Morgan, a British Bible teacher, pastor, and evangelist. He served prominent churches, visited America some 53 times, became the director of the Northfield Bible Conference, and often lectured at Moody. It should be no surprise that Moody and Morgan were friends. They both experienced failure, rejection, and major criticism.

When Morgan was young, he applied to a prominent seminary and was rejected. Morgan was devastated. He telegraphed his father one word, “Rejected!” His father telegraphed him back with “Rejected on earth. Accepted in heaven!”

That’s what the crucifixion and the resurrection are all about. One accomplished acceptance, and the other guaranteed it. That should be enough. In fact, after writing what I just wrote, I feel considerably better. I kind of think Jesus told me the book wasn’t that great anyway and suggested that he may have done me a favor.

You may remember the hymn . . . 

When I’ve done the best I can,

and my friends misunderstand,

thou who knowest all about me,

stand by me.

He does, for both of us.

He told me to remind you.