The Danger of False Expectations

So, we can go ahead and construct our plans, make our resolutions, and set our goals. We won’t even come close to the incredible plans, resolutions, and goals God has for us.

I make one New Year’s resolution every year, and I’m quite successful in fulfilling it. Every year I resolve never to make New Year’s resolutions . . . ever. I’ve probably told you, but my life’s verse is Ecclesiastes 9:10, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might . . .” Among other things, that verse sort of prevents me from setting goals and making resolutions. It requires that I learn to trust God to set the agenda. Life becomes a kind of poker game with God dealing the cards and me playing them as best I can. And if I don’t play the cards well, the dealer of the cards who likes me a lot won’t kick me out of the game.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t make New Year’s resolutions or set goals. However, I suggest that every goal and resolution be made with the biblical awareness that we live in a fallen world, which will remain fallen until Jesus comes back and cleans up the mess. As we remember that, it keeps us from believing that we can get better and better in every way every day—the soil out of which dangerous false expectations grow.

Sometimes, we don’t take seriously what it means to live in a fallen world. So, let me give you some bad news. Something really bad has happened, and everybody knows it, even if we try to deny it.

When I was a young pastor, an elderly lady in our church was dying. She simply could not deal with anything dark or troubling. She only read books with happy themes and happy endings. She refused to watch television news. And she had only friends who lived in the same dream world bubble that she did. So, the doctors didn’t want her to know she was dying, worried that she wouldn’t be able to handle the news. However, they needed to get her to sign a power of attorney so that, when she was no longer conscious, the medical expenses and bills could still be paid. They wanted me, as her pastor, to facilitate the signing of the form. I remember holding this woman up on a pillow and guiding her hand as she signed the form. And I also remember how horrible and depressed I felt when I did it. When I think about it now, I still do.

In those days, I thought that doctors were all-wise and all-knowing. (Do you know the difference between a doctor and God? God doesn’t think he’s a doctor.) I learned an important lesson from that experience. We should never hide bad news from those who are affected by that bad news. (There is also plenty of good news; before I finish writing this, I’ll talk about that.) But there is a lot of bad news, and it’s never a good plan to pretend otherwise. We should be sensitive, gentle, and compassionate in delivering bad news, but lying is never helpful.

I remember Louis Armstrong singing “What a Wonderful World.” I loved Armstrong and that song, and I still do. Armstrong was singing about a wonderful world because of someone he had met. But I know that romance is not a substitute for reality. It’s not a wonderful world. Frankly, it’s an incredibly bad world.

The biblical doctrine that teaches us why is the fall referring to Adam and Eve’s rebellion in the garden of Eden. Paul describes both the good and bad news this way: “But the free gift is not like the trespass. For if many died through one man’s trespass, much more have the grace of God and the free gift by the grace of that one man Jesus Christ abounded for many. And the free gift is not like the result of that one man’s sin. For the judgment following one trespass brought condemnation, but the free gift following many trespasses brought justification.For if, because of one man’s trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ” (Romans 5:15-17).

Discovering that false expectations are false can make us angry and bitter, and I would spare you that. I’ve been a pastor for a very long time, and frankly, no sin, failure, or weird behavior surprises me, in me or anybody else. It’s all a part of a fallen world. That’s one of the reasons Christians should be the most street-smart people around. It’s also the reason we should make resolutions with a biblical addendum about the nature of the world in which we live.

I won’t spend much time on the subject, but a fallen world shows in nature. “Mother Nature” isn’t my mother . . . and she’s an abusive one. Paul references the fall’s curse on the world: “For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies” (Romans 8:22-23). Hurricanes, floods, wildfires, and crop failures are not caused by global warming; they result from the fall. And if they are caused by global warming, that is a result of the fall, too.

Years ago, I wrote on the back page of my Bible something I heard someone say (I would tell you who if I could remember): “You wouldn’t be so shocked at your own sin if you didn’t have such a high opinion of yourself.” We wouldn’t be so shocked at many bad things in our world if we didn’t have such skewed expectations about that world. As we enter the new year, that’s a wise thing to remember.

Will your New Year’s resolution make you better or happier? Will you get married or divorced? Is everything going to work out? Will your kids be high achievers? Will you be successful? Will you get that job or a raise? Will you have good health? Will you stop smoking? Will you get what you worked so hard to achieve? Will your church grow? Will you live to a ripe old age? Will everyone love you, and will you love them back? Will you “get home before the dark”? Will your golf game or beach wedding be rained out? Will you go through a hurricane?

Maybe. Then again, maybe not.

As we move into a new year, it’s important to remember the reality of a fallen world. Don’t thank me. I was glad to help.

Wait. I thought you were also going to give me some good news.

Okay, the good news is that you can make all the New Year’s resolutions you want . . . and you won’t even come close to imagining how good things will be one day. That’s because “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9). Do note that “what God has prepared” doesn’t have a timestamp. Paul could be writing about heaven, tomorrow, or the new year.

Longfellow’s poem “The Rainy Day” is wise:

Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;

Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;

Thy fate is the common fate of all,

Into each life some rain must fall,

Some days must be dark and dreary.

And some days the sun breaks through the clouds so we can have a party.

This morning, I responded to someone who wrote Key Life. He was concerned about not “fully surrendering” his life to Christ and was afraid he wouldn’t make it to heaven. Let me share what I wrote to him:

“Someone has said that the trouble with a living sacrifice is that it keeps crawling off the altar. So, welcome to the club.

“Let me tell you a secret that every Christian has experienced, but few Christians admit. Nobody, this side of heaven, can pull off total surrender. The sacrifice really does keep crawling off the altar. If we could be as good, obedient, and surrendered as some think we could be, God would have sent a book . . . and certainly not his Son. You can tell how big a problem is by looking at what it takes to fix it. In our case, it took the blood of God’s own Son. That means our problem (i.e., sin) is really bad. The sacrifice of Christ is finished and sufficient for all our sins. Not only that, the only people who get better at surrendering are people who know that if they never surrender, God will love them anyway.

“Let me suggest that you pray ‘by contract.’ Pray this prayer, ‘Father, as your child and as your servant, and without any exception or reservation whatsoever, I surrender myself to you. I place myself on the altar as a sacrifice of worship, albeit an unworthy sacrifice. Please make this a contract before you regardless of my feelings, and then begin to conform my heart to this contract.’

“Then go and get a milkshake. That’s all you can do, and all you can do is enough.”

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” That’s the real God, and those are his intentions.

So, we can go ahead and construct our plans, make our resolutions, and set our goals. We won’t even come close to the incredible plans, resolutions, and goals God has for us.

He asked me to remind you.