It’s about impossible to understand an argument if you’re a part of it.

Steve Brown:
It’s almost impossible to understand an argument if you’re part of it. I’ll explain on, Key Life.

Matthew Porter:
It’s for freedom that Christ set us free, and Key Life is here to bring you Biblical teaching that encourages you to never give into slavery again. Our teacher on Key Life is Steve Brown. He’s an author, broadcaster, and seminary professor who’s sick of phony religion.

Steve Brown:
Thank you Matthew. We’re looking at the church at Philippi. Paul has written, as you know, and we’ve been studying this letter for weeks and weeks, but Paul has written this letter. And here, toward the end of the letter, he brings up an argument between two Christian women in the church. Everybody knows they’re fighting, and they don’t like each other, and it’s causing, well, it’s kind of like drips of acid in the church. And the apostle Paul says, stop it. You’re causing real problems in the church. Now, he says it in passing, and when you look at these verses in Philippians, the fourth chapter, verses two and three, you have a tendency, if you’re a teacher, just to say, well, I’m going to move on to something that’s more substantive. I’m going to move on to something that has more meat to it. And then I stopped and thought, no, this is pretty important or Paul wouldn’t have brought it up. And certainly the Holy Spirit wouldn’t have included it in the Holy Writ, the Canon of Scripture. And so, we’re taking some time to look at it and talking about division in the church. And we noted the principle of potentiality. Paul pled with them because potentially, if you’re a Christian, you can do what God would have you do. And then there’s the principle of superiority. There’s a lot of ego involved in this, Paul doesn’t take a side. And we saw yesterday, if you were listening, that we don’t have to be right. Now, we have to be right about the verities of the Christian faith, about what is really important as Christians. But almost everything else is not a place where we have to be right anymore. And then let me show you something else. I want you to note the principle of objectivity, to wit, it is almost impossible to understand an argument if you’re in it, Philippians 4:3a.

Yes, and I ask you, loyal yoke fellow,

Now, that could be a name or more probably an unnamed mediator who’s stepping in.

help these women.

In other words, the apostle Paul is aware that they are not objective about their arguments and somebody else has to help. You know what I did recently? I met with a mediator. You say, what were you meeting with a mediator? Well, it’s a long, I’m going to spare you the details, but we had to get a new roof put on our house. And the bill seemed to us, and we didn’t have to pay it, the insurance company was going to pay it, seemed unreasonably high. And the insurance company said, we’re not paying that. That’s way out of line. Now, I wasn’t even there. My wife and I were in the mountains of North Carolina. We didn’t even see them put the roof on. And the roof needed fixing because we had had a hailstorm that destroyed a lot of our roof. So, all of a sudden, I’ve got a problem here. The roofers want their money, and the insurance people don’t want to give it to them. And so, I’m in the middle, and you know why? They put a lien on my house, that means I can’t sell it, not that I want to, but if I wanted to, I can’t sell it. So, I’ve got to fix something. And so, they both had signed a mediation clause. And so, I met with the mediator, who is an objective observer and after a lot of talking and a lot of presentation on the part of a lot of lawyers who all made money on this, the mediator rendered a decision. And the decision said the insurance company had to pay and they named a part and I got the check yesterday. And I was thinking about Paul and the argument going on in Philippi. If you’re in the middle of an argument, you are not objective. If you’re in the middle of the argument, ego gets involved, all kinds of stuff gets involved. And so, you need a third party, and that’s what Paul is doing here. When he talks about yoke fellow, he’s talking about a mediator, somebody who can look at this situation and make a decision. Now, that’s not easy. When I was a pastor, I did a lot of counseling. I’m not a wonderful counselor, but I have a deep voice and when I say it’s going to be alright, people will believe me. And so, in what I was, more than anything was a mediator between places that couldn’t be reconciled. I remember one young couple coming to me and they fought, I could hear them fighting in the lobby. Then they came in and sat down in my study and I said, Tell me the situation. And they did, but they got angry at each other, and I thought it was going to turn into a fist fight. And I said, wait, wait. And then the young man said, Reverend, our problem is communication. And I said, no, it’s not. You understand each other, you just hate each other, and you dislike it. And if you’re not a Christian, get a divorce. If you’re a Christian, you’re stuck with each other, and I’m going to show you how you can get through this thing. And then I would say to the man, express now what you’re feeling and what you think. And she can’t interrupt you while you do it. And when you finish, she has to tell you what you just said, and you have to agree that that’s what you said. I can’t tell you how often I’ve done that, and how funny, you can’t laugh in the middle of a counseling session. But how funny it sometimes got, he would express what he felt, and then I would say, What do you think he said to her? And she would say, and he would say, that’s not what I said. And then I would say, tell her again. And she would keep trying to interrupt. And then I’d say, don’t say anything, because you’re going to get your chance in a minute. We’re going to see how that works out. And so finally, they would agree on what he said. And I said, now it’s your turn. And she would express what she felt. And he would interrupt. And I would say, son, be still, don’t interrupt, you’ve already expressed how you feel, now you’ve got to find out how she feels. And why am I taking so much time to tell you this? Because that happens in the church, when you’re involved in a division in the church, when you’re involved in an argument, and I don’t care what the issue is, you don’t understand it because you’re so busy defending your own position. And so, it’s always wise and the world understands that, e.g. my roof. They know that sometimes you have to have a mediator come in. And it’s got to be the same thing in the church. A lot of what goes on in the church ought to be when leaders, when people are mature, Christians are invited into a very difficult situation and become the pastoral resolution for that particular situation, because it’s almost impossible to understand an argument if you’re in the middle of the argument. I’m thinking of a thousand illustrations, but I think I want to keep on moving, so let me show you something else. Fourthly, I want you to note not only the principle of potentiality, superiority, objectivity. Please note the principle of commonality, to wit.

Everyone who belongs to Jesus belongs to everyone who belongs to Jesus.

And you say, I don’t see that in that text. Listen to this, Philippians 4:3b.

Who have contended at my side in the gospel along with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers.

Now, one would think that Paul would have written a private note to these two women. After all, why bring the dirty laundry before the church and make it public? Let me tell you why. He made it public, there is no such thing as a private argument in the church, any more than there is such a thing as a private leak on a boat. We are so bound together, so much a part of each other that it’s impossible that there can be a division in the church and it not affect the whole church. Listen, I want to be so close to the people I love in the church, that I taste the salt of their tears. And I do, because God has put us together, so that if you hurt, I hurt. If you’re divided, I’m divided. You think about that. Amen.

Matthew Porter:
Thank you Steve. And with that, we wrap up another stellar week of teaching from the Book of Philippians. And do join us tomorrow for Friday Q&A with Steve and Pete. Tomorrow, they will address this question among others. How do we know that we’re right? Hmm. Good question. Well, have you ever done any acting? Now, I don’t mean like in the movies or on the stage. I mean, those moments where you feel compelled to act like everything is okay when it is definitely not okay. Well, in Steve’s book Hidden Agendas, he teased up God’s invitation to us to drop our masks and remember that we are forgiven, redeemed, accepted, and loved. We took sections of that book and created a special booklet. Get your free copy of that booklet right now by calling us at 1-800-KEY-LIFE that’s 1-800-539-5433. You can also e-mail [email protected] to ask for that booklet. Or to mail your request, go to keylife.org/contact to find our mailing addresses for the U.S. and Canada. Again, just ask for your free copy of the Hidden Agendas booklet. Last thing, if you value the work of Key Life, would you join us in that work through your financial support? Giving is easy. You can charge a gift on your credit card or include a gift in your envelope. Or simply text Key Life to 28950, then follow the instructions. And do remember that big or small, monthly or one time, every gift matters, and every gift really does help. Key Life is a member of ECFA in the States and CCCC in Canada. And Key Life is a listener supported production of Key Life Network.