Men, Generations, and Grace 101.

Steve Brown:
Men, Generations, and Grace 101, on this edition of Key Life.

Matthew Porter:
If you’ve suffered too long under a do more try harder religion, Key Life is here to proclaim that Jesus sets the captives free. Steve invited Pete Alwinson to teach us this week. Pete is a former pastor, founder of ForgeTruth.com and the author of Like Father Like Son.

Steve Brown:
Thank you Matthew. Hi Pete.

Pete Alwinson:
Hey man.

Steve Brown:
That was good yesterday. Well, what we’re talking about, we’re doing, we don’t, we haven’t done this much. We’re talking about men and we want women to be listening because it will be helpful to them to understand what’s going on. We had a group of guys that came in just before we were recording. And we were sitting around talking about ministry and they were asking questions. You said it’s really hard to be a man today.

Pete Alwinson:
You know, it really is interesting. It’s a great time to be a woman, and to be female. It just is. So much since the sixties has changed. And I think with the desire for women to have equality with men, and of course they should have equality with men, what many of them who were upset wanted to do was actually take over and defeat men. And instead of equality, they wanted victory. And so, men have, by and large, a lot of times become more passive and certain generations are more passive than others.

Steve Brown:
That’s interesting, it really is. That affects the church too, doesn’t it?

Pete Alwinson:
Totally, totally. And so, as we talk about grace in the church and men in the church and women in the church, and we sort of ended our time yesterday talking about generations. And that might be interesting because, just in this room, we have two different generations. You are the greatest generation and I’m from the baby boomer generation. And then there’s X, and the millennials, and Gen Z, and Gen Alpha, that are in the church. So, as we think about the complexity of spiritual growth, how do we apply grace to the individual needs of different generations?

Steve Brown:
But grace is kind of the overriding thing, the safety net, the place where men must go to become what God created them to be.

Pete Alwinson:
Absolutely. And I I love what your ministry has done for me in, and now segueing more into men’s ministry is that grace is the energizing principle of all sanctification, right? We don’t need it just to become Christian, we need it every day as a Christian. And it’s the power of God and the love of God that transforms us. And so, the more we focus upon grace in whatever generation we’re in or what gender we are, we can grow. But there are some uniquenesses like, so for instance, in the baby boomer generation, we tended to be the high achievers, a little bit more corporate, you know, mentality and make it happen. And we wanted to surpass our parents and so, if it’s going to be, it’s up to me was kind of our theme. Well, that flies in the face of grace.

Steve Brown:
Oh, it really does.

Pete Alwinson:
It really does. And so, the men in the church who are boomers still kind of need to hear grace that no, you can’t achieve salvation. You can’t achieve

Steve Brown:
anything

Pete Alwinson:
anything good without God in your life. And we need the grace of God.

Steve Brown:
Do men respond to that message?

Pete Alwinson:
Yeah, they do, they do. I think because there’s a weariness that comes with, if it’s going to be, it’s up to me. You know, this performance oriented mentality weighs heavy and we don’t live up to the standards that others have for us or our own standards even.

Steve Brown:
Or even God’s standards.

Pete Alwinson:
Or God’s standards. And so, the law was given to us, Romans tells us, to show us how to live. But then we also, it shows us how we can’t live up to that. And so, what we find is, as boomers, is that we need grace to continue to grow. Now, where Xers, the generation that followed the boomers struggle and with my staff members, who are Xers, they struggle with me, the guys did.

Steve Brown:
Because you were a representative of their father?

Pete Alwinson:
Yeah, a lot of times. And I would say to them, now, listen, you need to understand I’m a co-worker with you here. I’m your leader. I’m your boss. But I’m not your father and I didn’t do those things your father did to you or didn’t do. But it was almost impossible for them not to see me in that role. And so, they would have high expectations of me. And I tried quite frankly to fill those roles of being a father image to them and a friend. And it’s hard to be a father as well as their boss.

Steve Brown:
Oh, it is. It really is, that makes it complicated in the church with men.

Pete Alwinson:
And I think what Christians need to understand too is how complicated the church is with generations. And now, think of it now because our generation X, born 65 to 80, now a lot of those are the senior pastors now. And the millennials are coming into their own as well. And many of millennials are senior pastors or staff pastors. And so, you have these different generations and as pastors disciple the men in the church, they have to be aware of, they really have to hear the stories of their men because their earthly father and family stories affect how they view God in a big way.

Steve Brown:
That’s pretty much what you said in your book, Like Father Like Son. You were talking about change. Now, in terms of all of these men and all of these different generations, there’re some basic needs that are there for every man.

Pete Alwinson:
That’s right. That’s right. And so, the first one is grace, right? The first one is salvation. And then every generation needs every generation of man, no matter who you are, need to wrap your head around what we think of as, in terms of five marks, a man has to know his identity. He has to know who he is really in Christ. And so, we say in Christ, you’re the deeply beloved redeemed son of the most high God. It doesn’t get any better than that. That’s who you are. But then a man has to know his purpose, why he’s on the planet. Identity is who I am. Purpose is, why am I here? And every generation of men needs to hear that God has called them to be a leader, to be a worker provider, and a warrior ambassador of the gospel to advance the gospel. But every generation will view that purpose structure a little differently. And so, we have to help them see at different generations, how does a millennial who says, I’m not a leader, I’m not a leader. I’m going to have to say, yeah, but you’re a man, and so you’re in the role of leadership that God has put you there. So, let’s talk about how as a millennial man, by the grace of God, you can become a leader in your sphere of influence.

Steve Brown:
So, is that good news or bad news to people that are in that generation?

Pete Alwinson:
That is a great question. For some it is. And then we go back to sort of different temperaments of men. Right? So, the type A guy goes, okay, I’m a leader, I get it. But the temperamental man, who’s an introvert, maybe more artistic and inward or a tech guy would say, I’m not a leader, I’m not going to do that. Well, you’re a man and you’re married. And so, and you have two kids, you’re a leader of that family. Now, let’s see how as an introverted, more introverted detail, analytical man, you actually can lead as a man.

Steve Brown:
With the gifts that you have.

Pete Alwinson:
With the gifts that you have, with the temperament that you have, in the generation that you are. So, discipleship becomes an exciting adventure in applying the truths of the gospel to men at different phases of life in the church.

Steve Brown:
What is discipleship? That word is used a lot. Talk to us about that.

Pete Alwinson:
Wow. Well, you know, it was used originally as a pejorative term, wasn’t it? In Antioch, the Christians were first called Christians, the followers of the way. You want to be just like Jesus, you little Christ’s. And they said, we do, but of course, and so there’s that sense in which a Christian, a disciple is one who wants to be like Christ. He wants to learn from Christ, be transformed by Christ because he has trusted Christ for his salvation. So, he wants to follow Christ in every way, that’s a disciple. And as men, men and women both are disciples when they accept Christ as Savior, when they receive Him as Savior. But for men, the discipleship process is often very complicated because of, sin complicates everything. But sin has really complicated manhood in America today in a particular way.

Steve Brown:
In Forge, you have all of those different groups, don’t you?

Pete Alwinson:
We do. We do. We have men who we have 90s, down to 18 or 19.

Steve Brown:
Now, do the older and mature Christians see a responsibility to their younger brothers in Christ?

Pete Alwinson:
Yes and no, I think that you see, there’s a principle of manhood because we’ve been told that we have to have all the answers that a lot of guys will never do anything unless they feel competent to do it. So, somebody from the greatest generation or from the baby boomer generation is not probably going to try and intentionally reach out to a younger guy unless the younger guy comes to him. Now, what I’ve found as a boomer, that when you go to these younger guys, they love it when you say to them, Hey, can we get together? I’d like to get to know you better. They’ll go, okay, but they won’t come to us. So, the older generations need to go to the younger generations intentionally and not have all the answers for how to encourage or develop them.

Steve Brown:
Let’s talk about that tomorrow, that’s a good subject. You don’t want to miss a single one of these broadcasts. It feels kind of funny and different, but it’s important. You think about that. Amen.

Matthew Porter:
Every generation of men needs grace. Thank you Steve and Pete. All this week, we’re in a special series called Men and Grace in the Church. It’s something that we don’t talk about nearly enough. More with Steve and Pete tomorrow, sure hope you will join us for that. And you know, maybe tell a friend. Well, we get a lot of questions here at Key Life, but there’s one question we get more than any other. How can I know that I’m saved? It’s a great question. Well, Steve spoke about this in a classic sermon titled, How to Know that You Know Him. If you have ever had doubts about your salvation, or maybe you know someone who struggles with those questions, let us mail you the sermon on CD for free. Just call us right now at 1-800-KEY-LIFE that’s 1-800-539-5433. You can also e-mail [email protected] to ask for that CD. Or to mail your request, go to keylife.org/contact to find our mailing addresses. Again, just ask for your free copy of the CD called How to Know That You Know Him. And finally, if you’re blessed by the work of Key Life, would you help share that blessing with others through your giving? Giving is easy. Just charge a gift on your credit card or include a gift in your envelope. Or simply text Key Life to 28950 then follow the instructions. And do remember that big or small, monthly or one time, every gift matters and every gift really does help. Key Life is a member of ECFA in the States and CCCC in Canada, both of those organizations assure financial accountability. And as always, Key Life is a listener supported production of Key Life Network.