What are men like in the church today?

Steve Brown:
What are men like in the church today? We’re going to talk about it on this edition of Key Life.

Matthew Porter:
This is Key Life. We’re here to let you know that because of what Jesus has done, God will never be angry at you again. Steve invited our friend Pete Alwinson to do the teaching this week. Pete is a former pastor, founder of ForgeTruth.com and the author of Like Father Like Son.

Steve Brown:
Thank you Matthew. Hi Pete.

Pete Alwinson:
Hey man. Happy Monday.

Steve Brown:
Listen, you’ve heard me talk on Fridays when Pete comes in about his ministry, a ministry to men called Forge. And if you want to find out something about it, go to ForgeTruth.com. And I decided it would be a good thing, since Pete’s one of the voices of Key Life, to have him tell us about men. I’ve been to Forge, and those guys love Pete, and would follow him through a wall. So, he’s doing, and they’re all, they’re walking it, they’re living it. And Pete probably knows more about men than anybody in the universe. And so, I decided we’ve got an expert. Let’s talk about that subject because it’s an important subject. So, what we’re going to do is we’re going to talk about men in the church all this week. And if you’re of the fairer sex, you listen too, because this is something that will be important to you too. Before we get down, let’s pray. Father, we come into your presence amazed that we’re allowed here in the presence of a holy God who is the sovereign Ruler, Creator, and Sustainer of everything. And yet, you have called us to call you, Father. And we praise you for it. Father, we pray for the people who are listening. Some are going through difficult times and some are doing fine. And you’re in charge of both of those. Father, meet us at the point of our needs as you define those needs, oversee this week of broadcast, make it important in our hearts and our minds and also in our hands that we live it. Thank you for Pete. I thank you for the benediction he is and the way you’re using him. Do it again on this broadcast in Jesus’ Name. Amen. Pete, you really do love men, don’t you?

Pete Alwinson:
You know, yeah, I do. And I think it was a part of the call. A lot of times our ministry comes out of our own life story and you know, my parents divorced when I was 10 and I remember as an 11 year old boy scout hiking up a mountain thinking what is a real man? And I think God has put that on my heart all my life. And then when I became a youth pastor, I was discipling guys just a couple of years younger than me. And we talked a lot about manhood and that’s carried through into my ministry.

Steve Brown:
Now, does that mean you don’t like women?

Pete Alwinson:
I love them. Love them.

Steve Brown:
God has really put on your heart. You know, it sounds sexist to say that, but I don’t think it is that the church will go the direction the men go. If the men lead, if they’re solid, if they’re strong in that, then you’ll have a church like that. And if they’re not, you’ll have a church that’s kind of wishy washy.

Pete Alwinson:
You know, it’s a main point of doctrine of the church, ecclesiology, that we adhere to, that used to almost every church adhered to, was that the men were called to be the leaders of the family, as well as the leaders in the church. And that was abused, for sure, in the church.

Steve Brown:
Of course it was.

Pete Alwinson:
And we reject that and turn away from that. However, those roles still are there for elders and deacons in the church. And at least in the elder role and probably the senior pastor role, we would agree on, for men to fill. So, God has called men into leadership roles. And when we change everything outside of his plan, we mess everything up.

Steve Brown:
Yeah, we really do. I have a friend who wrote a book on marriage and leadership of men. Instead of talking about leadership, he said the men are to be the keepers of the garden. And maybe that’s true in the church, too. There are different kinds of men. Let me read some Scripture and then we’ll dig in and start talking about, this is from II Timothy in the second chapter where Paul writes this.

You then, my son

and Timothy was a son to him

be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus, and what you have heard from me before many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.

That’s kind of what you do.

Pete Alwinson:
I love it. It really is. And so our tagline is we want to build great men as God defines greatness. But we want to build great men who build great men as God defines greatness. And that’s what Paul was telling Timothy as the pastor of the church, probably in Ephesus. That one of his responsibilities was developing leaders to follow him. Because a leader who doesn’t develop a leader or leaders is not going to, could never say he’s really a success in his ministry.

Steve Brown:
You know, in the early days of IBM, I don’t know if they still do it. The first item on a job description of any leader was to train his replacement. And they had a major tragedy, an airplane went down with some of their major leaders at IBM were killed. Somebody said, that’s going to really affect the organization, and somebody said, no it won’t. As a matter of fact, their replacements have been trained and mentored, and it’s going to be exactly the same, strong and powerful as an organization. And that ought to be true in the church too, shouldn’t it?

Pete Alwinson:
And I think it was in the early church when Paul and Peter were both executed in Rome. The church carried on. And look where it is today. And so, we have to keep these basics going on. I want to say one other thing before we jump ahead in this. And that is that there’s really only one model of ministry, how ministry ought to be carried out in relationship to the genders in the church. And it’s found in Titus, chapter two. The older guys are supposed to be developing the younger guys and the older women developing the younger women. And there’s a principle there that I found over the years that I always promoted couples groups in our church. But I realized at some point along the line that because I always did men’s groups too. That those guys weren’t going to say anything honest in front of, when women were in the room.

Steve Brown:
It’s true.

Pete Alwinson:
And so, then it finally eventually brought me back to that model. Oh, this is God’s plan that by God’s grace, we should focus on developing our own gender as well as we can. Not that there can’t be that interplay in the church, there has to be.

Steve Brown:
And we live in a culture that is confusing, even gender.

Pete Alwinson:
That’s right.

Steve Brown:
And it’s really not a good thing.

Pete Alwinson:
It’s not a good thing.

Steve Brown:
Listen, you talk sometimes about the different kinds of men, you know, the younger ones and the old ones. Talk to me a bit about that.

Pete Alwinson:
There’s the generational men, of course, and then there’s the stage of life men. And then there’s the stage of spiritual maturity man. I guess we could start off with a spiritual maturity man. There are men in the church who are not Christians. They’re there for some reasons, but they’re not Christians.

Steve Brown:
But it’s not Jesus.

Pete Alwinson:
It’s not Jesus. And every pastor knows that. And then there are some that are brand new Christians and then there’s some, and they don’t know which way to grow. And think of these men now, and men want to grow. They need to grow, but they don’t know how to grow, they’re brand new Christians. And then there are growing Christian men and then there are leaders, men who have stepped up into leadership and are developing that way. And then there are some men that are just plain so hurt by life, so destroyed by life that they’re men with broken wings, as Pat Morley used to say. So, one way of looking at the different kinds of men in the church is to look at the stage of their spiritual growth. And every pastor has to keep that in mind when he preaches a sermon, right? That we have people, and men along that spiritual spectrum. And so, I think churches need to keep that in mind. And as I think of developmental ministries and programs for the church, and pastors and their sermons, we have to speak to men at different levels.

Steve Brown:
Well, you do. That’s hard sometimes.

Pete Alwinson:
It’s really hard. You know, people think that your job, you made preaching look, you make it look so simple, but it’s not, it’s really complex.

Steve Brown:
You talk about different ages of men in the church. Talk to us a little bit about that.

Pete Alwinson:
Well, there’s all that generational stuff that’s fascinating to talk about too. So, in the church today, we probably have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 5 or 6 generations. We could go back and there are still men that were born in what was called the silent generation, 25 to 45, they’re old. Now, Jimmy Carter just died not too long ago, and he was 100, born in 1924 died in 2024. So, there may be some in that silent generation, but probably more in the church, the boomers, 1946 to 64. Generation X, 65 to 80. Millennials, 81 to 96. Generation Z, 97 to 12. And Generation Alpha, 2010 to 2025.

Steve Brown:
Man, you’ve thought about this, haven’t you? To serve, and we’re going to talk about it this week.

Pete Alwinson:
Yeah, let’s do that.

Steve Brown:
We’re going to talk about ministry to men and to women. It’s an important subject. We don’t bring it up and discuss it very often. But we’re going to do exactly that. You think about that. Amen.

Matthew Porter:
Thanks Steve. That was Steve Brown and Pete Alwinson. And all this week we’re discussing men and what the Bible says about them. Really good stuff. So, whether you’re a guy or just know one, I hope you’ll journey with us for the next several days. Well, if you have recently begun a relationship with Jesus, then let me be one of the first to say, welcome to the family. We have a terrific resource I know is going to help you a lot. It’s a book from Steve called, appropriately enough, Welcome to the Family. For a new believer, it offers solid instruction and guidance for growing up in Christ. And for the mature believer, It’s a terrific back to the basics guide. And for a minimum donation of $15 to Key Life, this book is our gift to you. Just call us at 1-800-KEY-LIFE that’s 1-800-539-5433. You can also e-mail [email protected] to order that book. Or to mail your request, go to keylife.org/contact for our mailing addresses. And finally, if you’re blessed by the work of Key Life, would you help share that blessing with others through your financial support? Giving is easy. Just charge a gift on your credit card or include a gift in your envelope. Or you can now give through text. Just text Key Life to 28950. And of course, if you can’t give right now, we get it, really. But if you think about it, please do pray for us, would you? Always needed, always appreciated. Key Life is a member of ECFA in the States and CCCC in Canada. Both of those organizations assure financial accountability. And as always, Key Life is a listener supported production of Key Life Network.